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Okay, things have gotten a little surreal around here.

First of all, I'm addicted to the classic movie channels. I have no comprehensive knowledge of films before about 1968, but I've seen everything worth seeing (I mean in American cimema, for you purists) that was made since then. Mostly because the older movies were too subtle for me, i.e. had no drugs, nudity, or cursing.

Secondly, you remember I was planning to move back to Athens to finish up school. Well, my roommate flaked out on me, and I had a huge argument with my parents because they had promised to help me move back but now found themselves an excuse to flake out too. During the argument, the worst I think I've ever had with my mother, the phone rang twice. The first was some test results on my father. He'd had a heart attack. Now of course conscience dictated the arguing and the moving across the state were out of the question. The second was an emergency call from a client, a very handsome, sensitive client who also happens to be, drumroll, a minister. A Christian one.

So here I am working on this minister, and he figures out in conversation that I don't really want to move to Athens. He figures out that I don't know what I want to do but I feel I have to do something. I tell him I've been wanting to ask him a spiritual question for a long time. I ask him if its a sin to do good works just so I can go to heaven. He says the only way I can go to heaven is through accepting Jesus Christ as my savior, good works will not get you into heaven. Turns out it was not an E shaped hole in my life, it was a God-shaped one. I tell him he doesn't seem like a minister. He thanks me very much. He tells me the major problem with Christianity is religion. We pray together. I go to his church the next Sunday (I almost had a typo of "Sinday"!). I rededicate my life to Jesus. I do not lose my personality, my sense of humor, or my will. I am not a sanctimonious religious freak. For the first time in over ten years, I do not cry whenever I talk about God. My worst fear has been confirmed. I almost mistyped that word as "conformed". Even the typos are surreal! I am a born again Christian. And it feels damn good.

And through prayer, the answer comes to me. I am going to return to the college where I began, the one that will accept all of the strange honors program credits no one else will accept. I have already found a job doing massage with an upscale salon and an apartment that is walking distance from the college. The apartment is also right next door to my mother's baby brother, my favorite uncle. (On my mother's side, that is.)

When I called Georgia Power today to reconnect service to the new apartment on August 1, I did not even owe them a deposit.

For the rest of the story, you'll have to come back tomorrow. It doesn't get more surreal, but stays about as.

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