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2002-03-28 - 2:21 a.m.|Movie Titles You'll Never See I was gonna write about something really clever but then I got stuck in The Straight Dope and forgot what the hell I had to say. So I'm gonna post a list of made-up movie titles a friend and I came up with at work two years ago. At the time we thought we were genii (is that a word) and after looking at it last week and laughing my ass off again, I realize that we were. Vampire's Next Door Neighbor, starring Marcy from Married with Children Zelig on Ice Disney's 8 1/2 You Muss Be Trippin, starring Sammy Davis Jr. In the Realm of my Menses Buena Vista Hair Club For Men Anonymous Bathroom Sex with Women Who Don't Resemble Pamela Anderson Gimme Back My Ramones Tape (romantic comedy) A House Landed on Me-One Woman's Struggle, starring either Meryl Streep or Jane Fonda Jack Bruce Can't Read, directed by Eric Clapton Jesus Loves You to Want Him (from Something Weird video) Wipe My Nose, Wipe My Ass (dubbed, w/Catherine Deneuve) I Feel So Bad Without You Its Almost Like Having You Here Bugs and Porky Go to Hell Don't Shit Your Pants, Dude! (Eric Stoltz and Dudley Moore) Disney's Heck's Angels (or How I Got My Red Wings) My Father the Girl Scout (1922, Chaplin) My Father the Girl Scout (1978, Bill Murray) If It Don't Stink, I Don't Want Any! Cruisin' For a Bruisin' (Al Pacino) Cruisin' For a Bruisin' 2: Snitches Get Stitches (Frank Stallone) Bite Your Thumb (Branagh) My, How You've Grown! (Rocco and the Olsen Twins Hi, I'm Glen Danzig (Brandon Lee) Happiness is a Fat Lip (alternate title, Chained and Bound) Hair Apparent (with Rhea Perlman, nude!) Swithblades and Sissies (Tony Randall and Tab Hunter) Manson! (Roman Polanski classic) Gone With the Blind Dead (Fulchi) I Don't Like Your Attitude III (Dolph Lundgren) Ninja, Ninja #9 (Lenny Bruce) Kicking Billy Crystal 400 Blowjobs (Truffaut, starring Sam Kinison) Problem Child IV: The Heretic (Macaulay Culkin) Pedal Steel Prositute (Willie Nelson, Shannon Tweed) I Was a Teenage Jerkoff Jimmy Carter's Bellbottoms If Frankenstein Can Dance, I Can Too (Fred Gwynne) Explorers (letterboxed) Some People Call Me Maurice (Bruce Lee) That's not all of them, but I'm tired of typing. Sweet dreams.
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