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2002-02-18 - 1:27 a.m.|Breaded Polenta Cutlets on a stick

I wanted to update after the weekend but I couldn't think of anything to start with. With which to start, whatever. So I opened the nearest, biggest hardcover book with the brightest orange cover right to the middle for inspiration. Cause you know how sometimes you can open a book and randomly look at a page and find something profound. Probably a precursor of the Magic 8 Ball tm. And the first phrase my eyes fell upon was "Breaded Polenta Cutlet". I don't even know what polenta is made of, but that's okay cause it says to use pre-made polenta.

Anyway, I was gonna talk about some more annoying phrases. The ones that are redundant and therefore wrong. Like we all know you don't need to say "Sahara Desert" cause it translates to "desert desert". But remember, you also need not say "hot water heater", because if the water was hot we would not need to heat it. Likewise "ATM machine", because the "M" stands for "machine", and "irregardless", which is not a word. The word is "regardless". Oh yeah, and don't say you feel "nauseous" when you really feel "nauseated". I had a prof at GSU that went on about that one. He made me nauseated because he was nauseous.

I would have put some of those words in italics instead of speaking in annoying fuckin quotes like Chris Farley, but IDKH. That is, I'm having difficulty doing HTML without some kind of online tutorial. I feel like everyone else got taken aside to some special computer camp and learned how to make their diary have more features. Waaaah. Or maybe I'm just s'pposed to buy a book. Anyway, I'd also like to point out that _pop_ _culture_ seems a little redundant as it wouldn't be part of the culture if it wasn't popular. And don't talk to me about subculture, you millions of rugged individualists all dressed alike.

Which brings me to the Jimmy Buffet concert. After driving too many hours to mention without being embarassed, fighting a mob to get in and spending too much on a t-shirt, I had to ride this escalator straight up about ten stories to the top level of this hockey arena, where I climbed sixteen more winding stairs to be on the top row next to the ceiling looking down on the back of the band and the 50,000 other people, who could barely stand up for the most part. But they could stumble to the lobby for more beer or a pee every fifteen. The only thing between me and possibly plunging to my death was a piece of plexiglass, which by its very presence it tells me that something bad has happened before in my section. But the worst part was, we sat through Jimmy Buffet's Bob Dylan impression (I say this cause I couldn't understand a word as I was behind the speakers) in someone else's seats because our were taken. But halfway through, they showed up to claim their seats. So we had to get an usher to get the drunks out of ours. Of course they were worse seats, cause now I was next to the fat guy who knows all the words to the 70's artist's 90's tunes. I left early cause it wasn't worth it to brave the drunker crowd on the way out.

But I did see someone else I know get suckered in by one of those guys who hangs out in the lot at shows where people come early to get wasted and miss or obliterate all memory of the show. The guy who tells you you aren't having enough fun and gives you some stickers and then asks for five bucks for charity. If you are having enough fun he pretends to write you a ticket, which you pay cause you're tripping or whatever and you just want this guy to go away and quit freaking you out, and he says but you get these great stickers with your fine.

So anyway, I can safely say I'll never go to a big arena show again. I left the Dixie Chicks early for similar reasons; they has bad sound and I hate crowds. Maybe if its an outdoor show I'll consider it, but never closed in with 50,000 people again. I'm used to shows where it was wildly successful if 1000 people came. Its a better quality show. Mostly I can't stand to be in a crowd of people and I can't get anywhere. You start thinking of the other people as less than people and you push past people without looking them in the eye. Same with riding fucking Marta. Everyone just stands there staring into space and pretends they're not crotch to ass with complete strangers and can't do a damn thing about it cause there's nowhere to go. I don't see how you city folk stand it every day.

So I'll go now before I start gossiping cause I need to read all the other people's diaries and see who got laid over the weekend, cause I need to and didn't and that's what people do, they worry about what everyone else is doing.

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