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I forgot, I found out last night that an old friend had a baby recently. She found out she was pregnant when she went into the hospital and had it! How stupid do you have to be? As for me, if I didn't notice my tumescent weight gain, I would have become concerned about having skipped so many periods in a row! But we all know what a powerful tool denial is.

I saw her in September and she was huge only in the stomach, the rest was normal. But although we all sat and got drunk together for several hours at an event no one mentioned her appearance. I remember one person asked me about it surreptitiously and we decided someone would have mentioned it or she wouldn't have gotten drunk if she had been pregnant.

But now we know the truth. She is just eaten up with the dumbass.

That's a southern expresion that means someone's not too bright, by the way.

Oh, yeah, my word of the week is relentless but I whould probably tell you all about my word of next week, "plumb". Not the fruit, but an adverb synonymous with "completely". As in, "I am plumb tired". Or more accurately, "I am plumb wore out". You all don't know this, but I speak with a slight southern accent. I'm saying this because I often wonder what all of you other writers sound like when you're speaking. I read the words and try to imagine. I say "fixin' to", "dutt-in" or "wutt-in" instead of "doesn't" or "wasn't". I'm told I have a weird way of saying the word "water" too, like "wuar-ter" but I just can't bring myself to say "wah- ter". And everyone around me sounds the same or worse, so I don't notice. My mother's accent is pronounced, but she's an educated person. Its not one of those Savannah GA GWTW accents though. When we leave the south strangers say they like the way we talk and so my mom will stop talking; she hates for it to be pointed out. She's a Piscean and I guess they're defensive. Sometimes outsiders think a south Georgia (never referred to as "Southern" Georgia) accent sounds like British English. I can enunciate when I'm nervous, but I'm otherwise too lazy. Just FYI. It makes people here real mad when people like Dan Rather, a Texan, lose their accent to be on TV. I think its funny how much I can be a part of something and simultaneously be outside of it. And its funny how I wrote a-whole-nother entry this soon after the last one. It was unplanned, I assure you.

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