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I'm not sure if I've told all of you this, but I've had five jobs that involved sanctioned TV watching. And I can't tell you how many bosses I've smoked with!

I've also had a lot of jobs. I was always a massage therapist _and_ working some shit job I found interesting. Never a concern for the money, cause my $50/hour career was gonna take off any minute. Of course now that I want to go out of business I suddenly have clients, but anyway. In Athens, my motto was "I was looking for a job when I found this one!" To be uttered in bad mamma jamma voice, bien sur.

Here the job market's a little different. I have had the WORST time finding a job where they'll work around my school schedule. And somehow, I got hired last spring by my favorite restaurant of all time. I mean, when I was in Athens I used to cry sometimes cause all I wanted was food from here, six hours away. I've been eating at this place since I was five, and I'm still not sick of it. I even quit and they hired me back. So anyway, all I have to do is run deliveries and help out in the dining room until it gets too slow and they send me home. Its a crime! I never clean a blessed thing, and I make like $15/hour with tips. No wonder I choose to put my energy into this steady job instead of my randomly profitable small business.

Tonight, though, we were ridiculously slammed. I was not even allowed to run deliveries. I would normally have just clocked myself out and gone home, but I saw the faces of the waitresses and hostesses wilted in a way I've never seen before. So I magnanimously stayed and secretly did closing duties while they were still feeding the hungry bastards, and we got out super early. As always, the owner thanked me for doing a good job. They always make a big deal about me working there and give me special treatment. I don't know why, but I have this awful feeling its because they know I could do better. I don't mean that in any kind of way. I'm starting to think I should stay late except on the nights they tell me to leave cause of labor costs.

I've always planned to write a book about how to get a job where you get to watch tv. I just can't do it 'til I have a career and no employer of an easy job can be biased against me for having written this ridiculous book. So let me tell you a story about one of my weirder jobs.

Jen V is my best friend. We have had three jobs together and never had a fight. Anyway, we were running this radio station that she and her dad has stock in. We could do whatever we wanted, and I'll tell you later about our "news" broadcasts.

So it was Halloween 98 and I had a Halloween story contest for the area elementary schools. We were in a tiny SC town at the time. The deadline neared, and no stories despite my constant ads and my letters to all the schools. On the day of the deadline I was literally in tears because no one entered. Just then a teacher arrived with all the stories. So the day was saved and I picked the winners. They got to read their stories over the air and I gave them money to spend on their costume. That night we played a tape of Welles reading "The War of the Worlds" on air and it scared the shit out of us! We felt like we were the only people left alive. I can understand how people commited suicide when they heard that back in the day and thought it was news.

That's it for now, I need to go relax and go to sleep. Happy V-Day!

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