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I'm high as a bat on cold medicine but I'm gonna try to update cause, I have readers! I finally got a gold membership and now I'm getting hits from all these cool chicks! I love girls!

Well, yesterday I firmed up my decision on what I want to be when I grow up. I had my first observation of a physical therapist in action (the second one, really, but the first credited one.) It was my lovely cousin Susan, who is a home health care PT. For any of you who may be feeling sorry about your lot in life, yesterday I met a brown-eyed handsome man who for the last ten years has been able to say nothing other than "yeah yeah yeah" and "no no no". He has aphasia due to a stroke and cannot find the words to say anything more. And I know I signed a confidentiality form, but hey, I didn't say his name. Unlikely that Susan will read this anyway. But the point is, things could be worse, for anyone who's not having a good day.

Well, I was gonna be a physical therapist assistant but I researched it and it turns out that degree doesn't transfer credit towards being a PT. Then I found out I can get a master's in PT right up the street in Jacksonville! Now all I need is a bachelor's degree, which should be assembled in under two years from my various credits. So anyway, as I suspected, a PT evaluates a person's injuries and assigns them exercises to help them heal. Pretty straightforward, and I think, a logical extention of my current semi career as a massage therapist.

In other news: I have for some time been wanting to take time-lapse photography of my nappy hair going from wet and straight to dry and corkscrewed. Yesterday I was sitting in front of the mirror with the front brushed straight down, getting ready to dry it when a curl flew up and smacked me across the forehead. That's right, I actually watched my hair curl! It moved like one of those fortune-telling fish! If you didn't guess by now, there's not much to do in this town but watch the grass grow/paint dry/hair curl.

Oh, and I have a new celebrity crush. I was thinking about Liev Schrieber and I thought I'd rent The Daytrippers. Then I found The Daytrippers and Walking and Talking for sale for $5 for both. I forgot what a huge part he had in Walking and Talking, which movie I had also been thinking about that day. I may or may not have written about this. but I have many very accurate and useless psychic predictions and I guess I predicted I was gonna get these movies. Then I remembered he played the tranny in Mixed Nuts, my favorite Christmas movie. I have this thing about men in eyeliner, I admit. Its one of my few fetishes.

That leads me to something I forgot to write about in my other entry where I talked about fetishes. As Dave Barry says, I AM NOT MAKING THIS UP! There are people in this world who have what is called an expansion fetish. They invented it after seeing Violet Beauregard in Willy Wonka blow up like a blueberry after chewing that gum. So, there are people walking this earth who derive sexual pleasure from putting on these suits that expand, allowing them to pretend they are expanding.

Finally, did you know the author of Charlie and the Chocolate Factory was Norwegian? So my favorite Norwegian has told me. Dahl was also a fighter pilot in WWII. Man, the balls it would have taken to get up in one of those little planes when aviation was relatively new. And to have survived! Its just amazing how many famous people there are who are multitalented. Like Garth Brooks could have been a pro baseball player. Mike Myers can tap dance. And Nicole Kidman is a massage therapist! So there's hope for me yet, although I don't think I'll grow up to marry Tom Cruise. Not after the Christmas Vanilla Sky incident.

Maybe tomorrow I'll go spelunking through my past again and tell all of you about the two robberies I have witnessed.

That's enough for now. God bless Tylenol Cold and Sinus!

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