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Over five years ago, some friends and I were riding around Athens town making fun of people. For some reason we drove down sorority row and we all burst into pointing, screaming laughter at the sight of some girl jogging. Exercise just seemed preposterous to me at that time.

Well, I thought I'd paid my karmic debt for that the same day. We pulled into a gas station and beheld a day-glow orange, piece o' shit car. Of course, we marveled at the sight. What else are you supposed to do when when confronted with a day-glo orange car? Certainly the owner did not wish to remain inconspicuous!

But I guess this one did, because he got out and loudly threatened bodily harm. We were actually scared of this guy. He was ugly and mean. The worst part was, he informed my gay friend that he was going to force him to suck his dick right in front of "his girlfriend" (me). Christ!

Reminds me of the time at a Dead show when the same friend and I saw some hippies with a dalmation they'd painted purple. PURPLE! And of course we were like, whoa, look at the purple dog. Cause when you paint your dog purple you WANT people to say, "Whoa, look at the purple dog!" Well, not these patchouli-stinkers. They got all mad and started screaming at us, "Why the fuck are you looking at our dog?" Fortunately they were too stoned to come after us.

But back to my karmic debt. This afternoon, as I was enjoying my daily walk through the historic district, some man yelled at me from a car "Get a treadmill!" I was astounded. I guess he thought I wasn't attractive enough to be walking down the street. I mean, as much as I hate unsolicited public sevice announcements from strangers, its not only the fact that he felt he could speak to me in this manner. Its just that no woman wants it implied that she's ugly. I'm not ugly, I'm not pretty, I'm not fat, I'm not thin, I'm not tall, I'm not short, I'm just average. And do you know how boring it is to walk on a treadmill? I can't stand to do it for more than 15 minutes, but on the street I walk three miles every day. And these walks with myself make me feel really, really happy and peaceful. I look forward to my walk and wouldn't intentionally miss it for anything. So fuck you, random asshole, for trying to destroy my joy.

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